By Bonnie L. Schultz

"Children, like sponges, draw on your strength
Leave you limp as an empty sack.
But all you have to do is squeeze them
and you get everything back!"

Welcome to the world of parenting multiples. It may seem like an overwhelming task at times, but there will be many rewards and joys for you and your family as you watch your multiples grow up. Research in the multiple birth field has determined that the more information parents of multiples have, the better able they are to minimize their difficulties and maximize their happiness. The more you know about this remarkable adventure, the more you can enjoy the good parts and cope with the difficulties.

A miracle indeed: from hearing the news to delivering two or more babies, a multiple birth pregnancy is a journey unlike any other. There are incredible physical changes and emotional highs and lows - it's an experience that is profoundly life-altering. At the end, something even more extraordinary - two, three, four or more new lives.

Having multiples can do a lot for you and your family.

• When you are pregnant with your multiples you will have no trouble getting a seat on the bus or train (this may have something to do with looking like your due date was yesterday from five months on).
• You will meet all sorts of people you have never met before and you will amaze yourself that you will share your life history with complete strangers!
• You will increase your sensory perception (you will hear the faintest giggle or the bathroom door open from anywhere in the house!)
• Best of all, you will soon notice that some of the wittiest and best friends you know just happen to be, parents of multiples too!
• Multiples can tell you who your real friends are quicker than anything I know (when asked to sit with them, I knew immediately which ones were willing to jump in and help.)
• Multiples increase your peripheral vision (mothers have the uncanny ability to visually monitor every corner of the room.)
• Multiples give you and your friends a good sense of humor (it's either laugh or cry.and most of us would rather laugh!)

Quotes from Mothers of Multiples

Raising a child can be the most rewarding, fulfilling and challenging experience in an adult's life. When you find out that you are going to have a multiple birth, you are overwhelmed, shocked, happy and tearful - you and your family members experience a huge mixture of emotions as you adjust to the new reality. Not only are children lots of fun, they are also lots of work - particularly when there's more than one baby at a time!

Apart from the obvious financial strain and sleep deprivation; parents of multiples have plenty to deal with. Topping that list is emotional support and the need to give equal attention to each child, "You have to remember that each child is an individual and you need to treat them as such - not as a unit."

Now that you are or soon will be parents of twins, triplets or more, you can toss out the old traditions, all the rules and expectations that come with parenting. You and your family will create many new ways of handling your own special situation. You will see your new family as special and will work together to learn how to cope with your new situation.

Hints For You

• New parents of multiples need sleep, help, information, support, space, time off, patience and a sense of humour.
• Lots of things can go without getting done - they will wait for you! (dishes, dusting, dinner, Daddy (but not too long!), defrosting the refrigerator and even Disneyland!)
• Remember others have managed - so can you!
• Take one day at a time, if that is still too much - take a deep breath and pretend you are fresh for the afternoon.
• Surround your family with supportive and helpful people.
• Ask for help - nobody can read your mind!
• Although you may still have 'those moments', you will look forward to each new day with your special family.

You Can Help Your Multiples By:

• Responding to the differences you see in your children - regard them as individuals, not as a unit and it may be easier for each sibling to be flexible enough to find their own niche.
• Encouraging independent decision-making - allowing them to choose their own clothes at three years old is the first tiny step toward choosing their own college when they are eighteen.
• Discarding cultural stereotypes about multiples - all multiples do not have a secret language, ESP and matching emotions.
• Trusting your children and their relationship to each other - they will adjust, as they need to.
• Surround yourself with people who think as you do - loving support will create a climate in which your family and your multiples will blossom and grow.
• Refraining from making little stars of your multiples.
• Providing special attention for the siblings of your multiples.